BUBBA OF THE ROUND

Strong were men and sharp were wits
When Arthur was the King of Brits;
And so the stories still abound
Of Merlin and the Knights of Round.

But one tale fails to e'er be told
So if I may to be so bold
As here to speak what lips won't tell
But those that in fair Wyewood dwell.

It all began late in the day
As Merlin walked amidst the hay
Of Camelot's abundant fields -
The bounty that a peace-time yields.

He mused about some wizard prose
When suddenly within his nose
Some pollen there began attacks
Which stopped the wizard in his tracks.

Nearly falling to his knees
He could not hold so grand a sneeze
And there was nothing he could do
But issue forth a great KA-CHOO!

Now with magic ones wise and old
Dangers arise with every cold,
For every cough, or belch, or wheeze,
Can freeze the skies or burn the seas.

So with a sigh - relief was sweet -
The Earth was still beneath his feet!
But when his eyes he opened round
Sitting there upon the ground
A golden hamster silent glared
Through eyes of pitch with long teeth bared
And outspread wings as black as night
Were threatening a hellish flight.

An impish glint lit Merlin's eye,
"Oh Beast! With you I'd love to fly!
But no," replied the wise old sage,
"You must return to your own age".

His lips invoked an ancient spell.
His fingers rose, his fingers fell.
But just before the magic caught
A cry rang out from Camelot!

"I forgot again", he murmured, "Blast!
These mortals' future is my past.
Events for me are dead and done
Which now for them have just begun!"

He turned and to the hamster spoke,
But not in voice of common folk
And then the hamster's glaring ceased
For Merlin spoke the tongue of beasts.

They took off like a lightening crack
With Merlin on the hamsters back
And arrow-like, the pair they flew,
Until the castle was in view.

Nearby they came to Earth again
Then joined the gaze of Arthur's men
Where on a tower's spire high
A massive dragon filled the sky
Who, long of teeth and sharp of nails,
Held Guinevere amongst his scales.

"Oh Merlin!" Arthur turned toward him,
"We're helpless at this dragon's whim!
How are we to turn the tide,
When nothing pierces dragon hide?"

"Arthur," Merlin softly purred,
"Recall you not a single word
Of all I taught on peace and war?
Of life and all and dragon lore?"

The King, now student, deeply thought.
A lesson past to mind he brought.

"Oh yes!" cried Arthur, "there's the skin
Much softer 'neath the dragon's chin!
It's still to tough for archer's bow -
A sword must make the final blow!"

He looked up at the dragon rank
And once again his spirits sank.
For even if the distance closed
His target remained unexposed.
He'd gladly give his royal coat
To simply reach that serpents throat!

Nearby the hamster sat in place
Observing close the monarch's face
And though the words did not get through
Quite clear he knew what he would do.

And so without a second thought
He took wing over Camelot.
And through sulfuric acrid breath
He flew toward hell and jaws of death!

Now Merlin read the hamster's mind,
A smile on his lips inclined.

"Unsheathe Excaliber my king
For dragon's blood it will make sing!
And cast it forth with all your might -
My magic shall ensure its flight!"

So Arthur did as he was told
And flung the sword of legends old.
On unseen wings of light it flew,
It's path made straight, and clear and true
Lit golden red by sunset's light,
Led on its way by hamster flight.

The hamster then began to race
About the dragon's bearded face,
And round the horns and neck, and mane.
The worm's patience began to wane.

A puff of flame would surely bring
An end to this small pesky thing!
And so to burn our hamster dead,
The dragon raised its monstrous head.

Before he could unleash his flame
A spasm shook the dragon's frame
As on the ramparts his blood spilt,
Excaliber sank to its hilt.

The dragon voiced a final roar
Before his heart would beat no more,
Then rising to his awesome girth
The dragon fell, quite dead, to Earth.
On impact rose so dark a cloud
The dragon's form it did enshroud.

Witnessing the flame and smoke
No single tongue the silence broke
For every man held fast his cheer -
None knew the fate of Guinevere.

As time stretched on, the night grew dark
Extinguishing hope's final spark
When suddenly a sound they heard
Like flapping of a mighty bird,
Then through a parting in the flame
Out of the cloud a figure came;
The hamster of the golden sheen
Who bore in paw their Lady Queen!

Unbounded joy erupted high
As countless voices filled the sky
And shook the Earth and lit the night
For King and Queen who reunite!

Although the crowd around had grown
With hearts rejoined they seemed alone
And thus some time was theirs to share
Until their lips could no more bear.

Then holding still his Lady's hand
The King looked at the hamster grand,
"My noble beast, I'm in your debt!
A braver soul I have not met!
And for this battle you have fought -
Arise Sir Knight of Camelot!"

The crowd let loose a rousing cheer
Then with a kiss from Guinevere
The hamster joined his wizard friend
Who, nodding, cast a spell to send
Him flying back to his own lair,
Back home again to Wyewood fair.

So now you've heard the story true
But what might not occur to you
Is why among the nobles there
Sat always free, an empty chair.
Reserved, it was the hamster's seat
To make the table round complete.